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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Piano
Shape
Pianos
Shame
Referring
Shapes
Bend
Bigs
Lean
Natural
Opera
Fats
Singers

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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
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The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge