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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Sarcasm
Happily
Sarcastic
Witty
Married
Wasn
Wife
Funny

More quotes by Victor Borge

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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
Victor Borge
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
Victor Borge
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
Victor Borge
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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
Victor Borge
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
Victor Borge
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
Victor Borge
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge
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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
Victor Borge