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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Sarcasm
Happily
Sarcastic
Witty
Married
Wasn
Wife
Funny

More quotes by Victor Borge

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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
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I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
Victor Borge
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
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They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
Victor Borge
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
Victor Borge
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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
Victor Borge
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge