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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Violin
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Difference
Longer
Differences
Funny
Viola
Burns
More quotes by Victor Borge
Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
Victor Borge
Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
Victor Borge
Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.
Victor Borge
When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
Victor Borge
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
Victor Borge
I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
Victor Borge
Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
Victor Borge
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
Victor Borge
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
Victor Borge