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Not like Tobias, who is almost shy when he smiles, like he is surprised you bothered to look at him in the first place.
Veronica Roth
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Veronica Roth
Age: 36
Born: 1988
Born: August 19
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
New York City
New York
Veronica Anne Roth
Look
Insurgent
Firsts
Tobias
Looks
Smiles
First
Bothered
Like
Shy
Surprised
Almost
Place
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I reach out and take his hand. His fingers slide between mine. I can't breathe.
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My skepticism is strong, but my curiosity is stronger.
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But Christina and I are not people who cry together we're people who fight together. SO I hold my tears in.
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Hearing him talk about his mother, about his intact family, makes my chest hurt for a second, like someone pierced it with a needle.
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I hear my heartbeat. I have been looking at him too long, but then, he has been looking back, and I feel like we are both trying to say something the other can't hear, though I could be imagining it. Too long - and now even longer, my heart even louder, his tranquil eyes swallowing me whole.
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A chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy.
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I have discovered that sitting still leaves little spaces for the grief to get in, so I stay busy.
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He bends over to untie his shoes. “So, have you been ostracized from your little crowd of devotees?” “No,” I say automatically. Then I add, “Maybe. But they aren’t my devotees.” “Please. They’re like the Cult of Four.” I can’t help but laugh. “Jealous? Wish you had a Cult of Psychopaths to call your very own?
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I'm surprised you know that, I say quietly, since you left halfway through my one and only fight. It wasn't something I wanted to watch. he says. What's that supposed to mean?
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I kiss him as the train slides into unlit, uncertain land. I kiss him for as long as I want, for longer than I should, given that my brother sits three feet away from me.
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Who cares about pretty? I'm going for noticeable.
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You think giving you a hug would give away too much? he says. You know, I say. I really don't care. I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. It is the best moment of my life.
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I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.
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That night we push our cots just a little closer together, and look into each other's eyes in the moments before we fall asleep. When he finally drifts off, our fingers are twisted together in the space between the beds. I smile a little, and let myself go.
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