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I light candles. I meditate. And I don't believe in anything. By default I move simultaneously towards mysticism and atheism. It's not something that's ever going to get fixed.

Vanessa Veselka

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Vanessa Veselka
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: March 14
Writer
Eagle Pass
Texas
Going
Fixed
Something
Towards
Believe
Atheism
Candles
Move
Default
Moving
Simultaneously
Light
Mysticism
Anything
Meditate
Ever
Candle

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I'm really bad at being nonviolent.
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There's a big part of me that's atheist. There's a big part of me that's agnostic. And there's a big part of me that tends towards the mystic. The thing that I find is most important in all of that is to retain my sense of wonder and the idea that I don't actually know what's going to happen.
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As a songwriter and musician, it strikes me that in music, a certain territorial nature when it comes to one's own autonomy around life and art is common and understood.
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Go ahead and do what you're doing.
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But I know what it means to crave what you're not. To want to sew up that rift because it's exhausting to hold it open. Sometimes you just need to be someone else, someone who doesn't care about anything at all. I know I do. I want emptiness but I can't have it.
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I would love to love something, especially if I could do it without feeling like I was watching it die right in front of me.
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I learned to live in my own head. I learned to follow intuition and more than anything, I learned what was important to me.
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The equation Bubble Tea = Something to Look Forward To depressurizes the misery of capitalism and is a Hello Kitty band-aid on the festering wound of Neo-Liberalism.
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For me it comes down to one thing: I'm trying to follow my own nature.
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I was always face to face with total futility and powerlessness.
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Being well-mannered and gracious and kind are things that I value really highly.
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The world is a violent child none of us will get to see grow up.
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