I am an avid drinker with a serious bowling problem.

Kids today look at me like I'm Neil Young. Nirvana is the band their parents listen to.

I hyperventilate opening a box of chocolates. I'm the most nervous guy in the world.

The only thing that kept me out of college was high school.

Well, it's great that critics are comparing me to Eminem, and not Vanilla Ice.

I am a dog that loves my fleas.

You make me smile like the sun, fall out bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head. Spin like a record crazy on a sunday night. You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breath, shine like the sun buzz like a bee, just the thought of you can drive me wild. Oh you make me smile.