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No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Firsts
First
Every
Gate
Sheep
Gates
Second
Wants

More quotes by Tucker Max

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Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
Tucker Max
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The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.
Tucker Max
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The result of my hard work is that I'm financially independent, I have an amazing life, and I can do whatever I want. I don't have to answer to anybody.
Tucker Max
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As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it's because they're afraid of rejection or they're afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.
Tucker Max
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This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
Tucker Max
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Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.
Tucker Max
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You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
Tucker Max
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You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.
Tucker Max
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I could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?
Tucker Max
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
Tucker Max
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I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me.
Tucker Max
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Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
Tucker Max
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I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
Tucker Max
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I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
Tucker Max
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To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
Tucker Max
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I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)
Tucker Max
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You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.
Tucker Max
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Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect you get what you demand from people.
Tucker Max
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I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.
Tucker Max
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I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
Tucker Max