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I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Remember
Even
Things
Never
People
Upset
Saying
Understand

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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
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I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
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I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.
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My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?
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I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
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Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect you get what you demand from people.
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The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.
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I've never really had a media edifice supporting me.
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I could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?
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Before I was famous, I already was the person that attracted and dealt with a lot of weirdos.
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I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
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Fat girls aren’t real people.
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My buddies and I, we all went to law school together, and once we started working in different cities, we all did crazy stuff, and we'd write e-mails to each other about the stuff we would do. And my friends thought my e-mails were really funny and they said, Dude, why don't you put this up on a Web site. You know people would love to read this.
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And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.
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TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.
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Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
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Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.
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The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
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The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above functionally retarded.
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