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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Zero
Gonna
Play
Crotch
Roulette
Double

More quotes by Tucker Max

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I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.
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I've never really had a media edifice supporting me.
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Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.
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I think 20th century media were about tricking people - and the beauty of the Internet is you can't lie anymore.
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I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor
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Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb.
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You know that look a cop gives you when he's so confused that he doesn't even know how to respond? If you don't know that look, it means you haven't had enough fun in your life.
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I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
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Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect you get what you demand from people.
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Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.
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Fat girls aren’t real people.
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The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.
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This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
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I could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?
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Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.
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I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.
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I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)
Tucker Max
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You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
Tucker Max
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You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.
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The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
Tucker Max