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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Gonna
Play
Crotch
Roulette
Double
Zero

More quotes by Tucker Max

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At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.
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Random Girl after a hookup: Do you love me Tucker: I don't understand the question.
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Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.
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One big lesson I learned from movie [making] was I don't do creative projects that I headline unless I have all the control. I can't deal with having to live with other people's screw ups, and that's just sort of the way the movie business works. The people with the money are in charge. Until I'm in charge, I don't want to play that game.
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Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.
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No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.
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Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
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I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.
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Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.
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I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
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To get hwat you want out of life, all you really need to do is be honest about it, don't be afraid to go for it, and have fun while you do it -- and you'll eventually get it.
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If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
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You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
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The result of my hard work is that I'm financially independent, I have an amazing life, and I can do whatever I want. I don't have to answer to anybody.
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I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester.
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The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
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I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.
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Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.
Tucker Max