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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Play
Crotch
Roulette
Double
Zero
Gonna

More quotes by Tucker Max

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Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.
Tucker Max
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It used to be that companies with industrial economies of scale created business success. Now, success will come from the information economies of scale, either the ones with complete breadth, or complete depth.
Tucker Max
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What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.
Tucker Max
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The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
Tucker Max
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I masterbate in the shower. My action figures judge me. Especially the Justice League.
Tucker Max
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You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
Tucker Max
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Fat girls aren’t real people.
Tucker Max
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Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art.
Tucker Max
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I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
Tucker Max
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The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.
Tucker Max
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Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
Tucker Max
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The idea that guys should walk into a bar and confidently initiate contact and then seduce a woman based on a short term conversation is a toxic cultural myth that robs guys of self-confidence and that holds them up to an unrealistic standard that they have to become a super-extraverted narcissist in order to 'score with women'
Tucker Max
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I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.
Tucker Max
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
Tucker Max
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Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.
Tucker Max
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The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.
Tucker Max
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I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
Tucker Max
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If you want to be seen as courageous by some and hated by others, just say what you really think.
Tucker Max
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Due to the potent combination of my sexual recklessness and the slutty nature of some of the girls I have slept with, I have accumulated enough stories and anecdotes about abortion that they could name a Planned Parenthood clinic after me.
Tucker Max
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I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)
Tucker Max