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Before I was famous, I already was the person that attracted and dealt with a lot of weirdos.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Weirdos
Weirdo
Dealt
Attracted
Famous
Already
Persons
Person

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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
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One big lesson I learned from movie [making] was I don't do creative projects that I headline unless I have all the control. I can't deal with having to live with other people's screw ups, and that's just sort of the way the movie business works. The people with the money are in charge. Until I'm in charge, I don't want to play that game.
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Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
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Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.
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I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
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If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
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Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
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What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.
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Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.
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Opinions are projections.
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Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.
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Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
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I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.
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Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.
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I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
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TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.
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I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
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I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
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