Quote

To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.

Tucker Max

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Stuff
Wants
Stories
Nice
Care
Guy
Petted
Mean
Friends
Puppy
Writing
Story
Cute
Really
Read
Street
People
Funny
Saws
Write
Streets

More quotes by Tucker Max

Image
What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.
Tucker Max
Image
I could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?
Tucker Max
Image
Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.
Tucker Max
Image
It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.
Tucker Max
Image
You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.
Tucker Max
Image
I've never really had a media edifice supporting me.
Tucker Max
Image
There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.
Tucker Max
Image
Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.
Tucker Max
Image
Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.
Tucker Max
Image
And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.
Tucker Max
Image
I'm not even the coolest one of my friends. I'm just the guy who sat down and wrote everything down. Like I know plenty of people who do crazier stuff than I do.
Tucker Max
Image
Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
Tucker Max
Image
Due to the potent combination of my sexual recklessness and the slutty nature of some of the girls I have slept with, I have accumulated enough stories and anecdotes about abortion that they could name a Planned Parenthood clinic after me.
Tucker Max
Image
If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
Tucker Max
Image
I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
Tucker Max
Image
My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.
Tucker Max
Image
I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.
Tucker Max
Image
The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.
Tucker Max
Image
Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect you get what you demand from people.
Tucker Max
Image
Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
Tucker Max