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To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
Tucker Max
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Tucker Max
Age: 48
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
People
Funny
Saws
Write
Streets
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Wants
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More quotes by Tucker Max
Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.
Tucker Max
I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
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What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.
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Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.
Tucker Max
At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.
Tucker Max
It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.
Tucker Max
I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
Tucker Max
No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.
Tucker Max
I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.
Tucker Max
Random Girl after a hookup: Do you love me Tucker: I don't understand the question.
Tucker Max
I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
Tucker Max
Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want
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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max
Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.
Tucker Max
Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.
Tucker Max
Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.
Tucker Max
I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
Tucker Max
Failure instructs, failure improves. Failure shouldn't deter you.
Tucker Max
Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.
Tucker Max