Quote

To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Stuff
Wants
Stories
Nice
Care
Guy
Petted
Mean
Friends
Puppy
Writing
Story
Cute
Really
Read
Street
People
Funny
Saws
Write
Streets

More quotes by Tucker Max

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Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.
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Yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but everyone forgets the second half of that quote: the road to heaven is paved with good actions.
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My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?
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No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.
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Failure instructs, failure improves. Failure shouldn't deter you.
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A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, Why aren't you in your basketball uniform? I leave out way more than I put in.
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It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.
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I could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?
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TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.
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In training, there is no winning or losing. There is only learning.
Tucker Max
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We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating.
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Fat girls aren’t real people.
Tucker Max
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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
Tucker Max
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What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.
Tucker Max
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Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
Tucker Max
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I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.
Tucker Max
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Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.
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I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.
Tucker Max
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You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
Tucker Max
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I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.
Tucker Max