Quote

To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Writing
Story
Cute
Really
Read
Street
People
Funny
Saws
Write
Streets
Stuff
Wants
Stories
Nice
Care
Guy
Petted
Mean
Friends
Puppy

More quotes by Tucker Max

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I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
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The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.
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Listen to authority figures because of their position, but only believe them if they can explain why.
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The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be.
Tucker Max
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Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.
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Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
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A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, Why aren't you in your basketball uniform? I leave out way more than I put in.
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If you want to be seen as courageous by some and hated by others, just say what you really think.
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TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.
Tucker Max
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The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
Tucker Max
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Random Girl after a hookup: Do you love me Tucker: I don't understand the question.
Tucker Max
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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max
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In training, there is no winning or losing. There is only learning.
Tucker Max
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Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future.
Tucker Max
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Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.
Tucker Max
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I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.
Tucker Max
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Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb.
Tucker Max
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Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.
Tucker Max
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Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.
Tucker Max
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Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.
Tucker Max