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I hated being a lawyer and I wanted to like myself and like my job.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Lawyer
Hated
Jobs
Wanted
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More quotes by Tucker Max

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No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.
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Before I was famous, I already was the person that attracted and dealt with a lot of weirdos.
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This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
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The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above functionally retarded.
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Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.
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Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
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If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
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Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
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One big lesson I learned from movie [making] was I don't do creative projects that I headline unless I have all the control. I can't deal with having to live with other people's screw ups, and that's just sort of the way the movie business works. The people with the money are in charge. Until I'm in charge, I don't want to play that game.
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To get hwat you want out of life, all you really need to do is be honest about it, don't be afraid to go for it, and have fun while you do it -- and you'll eventually get it.
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It [eBook] is like introducing the machine gun to a revolutionary war. It changes everything. If you can reach your fans directly without having to go through a middle man, the entire economics of the publishing business changes.
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Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.
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The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be.
Tucker Max
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I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.
Tucker Max
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The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.
Tucker Max
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I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.
Tucker Max
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I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.
Tucker Max
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To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
Tucker Max
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You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
Tucker Max
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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
Tucker Max