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I'm not even the coolest one of my friends. I'm just the guy who sat down and wrote everything down. Like I know plenty of people who do crazier stuff than I do.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Stuff
Everything
Crazier
Even
Coolest
Like
Sat
People
Plenty
Wrote
Guy
Friends

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Before I was famous, I already was the person that attracted and dealt with a lot of weirdos.
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
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Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
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Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.
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Fat girls aren’t real people.
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No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.
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My buddies and I, we all went to law school together, and once we started working in different cities, we all did crazy stuff, and we'd write e-mails to each other about the stuff we would do. And my friends thought my e-mails were really funny and they said, Dude, why don't you put this up on a Web site. You know people would love to read this.
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The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
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I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
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Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
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I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
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Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want
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I masterbate in the shower. My action figures judge me. Especially the Justice League.
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I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
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Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
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I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.
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The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.
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The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.
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Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
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The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.
Tucker Max