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Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Avoid
Questions
Getting
Sound
Great
Answering
Way
Offended
Make
Dumb

More quotes by Tucker Max

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I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
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Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.
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Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.
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Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
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We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating.
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I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)
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The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.
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I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
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The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
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I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
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Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
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The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be.
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
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The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above functionally retarded.
Tucker Max
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9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that.
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Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.
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Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
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No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.
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Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.
Tucker Max