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Yinzer: DAMN!! I wish I had your balls! Tucker:I wish you had a breath mint, but I guess we don't always get what we wish for.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Breaths
Balls
Guess
Wish
Always
Tucker
Mint
Damn
Breath

More quotes by Tucker Max

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As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it's because they're afraid of rejection or they're afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.
Tucker Max
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Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
Tucker Max
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The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be.
Tucker Max
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This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
Tucker Max
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I never felt pressured to create more stories, but dealing with people became really aggravating.
Tucker Max
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I could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?
Tucker Max
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I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.
Tucker Max
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Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful.
Tucker Max
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Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
Tucker Max
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Random Girl after a hookup: Do you love me Tucker: I don't understand the question.
Tucker Max
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Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.
Tucker Max
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What people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.
Tucker Max
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The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
Tucker Max
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I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
Tucker Max
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You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
Tucker Max
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I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
Tucker Max
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
Tucker Max
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I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor
Tucker Max
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The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.
Tucker Max
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No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple.
Tucker Max