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Yinzer: DAMN!! I wish I had your balls! Tucker:I wish you had a breath mint, but I guess we don't always get what we wish for.
Tucker Max
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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Guess
Wish
Tucker
Always
Mint
Damn
Breath
Breaths
Balls
More quotes by Tucker Max
At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.
Tucker Max
My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?
Tucker Max
I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
Tucker Max
Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.
Tucker Max
I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
Tucker Max
I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them.
Tucker Max
It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.
Tucker Max
I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.
Tucker Max
Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.
Tucker Max
I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.
Tucker Max
I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester.
Tucker Max
Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
Tucker Max
If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.
Tucker Max
I masterbate in the shower. My action figures judge me. Especially the Justice League.
Tucker Max
As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it's because they're afraid of rejection or they're afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.
Tucker Max
Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.
Tucker Max
General reader feedback is usually pretty worthless. 99% of people give feedback that is irrelevant, stupid, or just flat out wrong. But that 1% of people who give good feedback are invaluable.
Tucker Max
We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating.
Tucker Max
I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
Tucker Max
I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor
Tucker Max