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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Insulted
Havens
Haven

More quotes by Tucker Max

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I hated being a lawyer and I wanted to like myself and like my job.
Tucker Max
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No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.
Tucker Max
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Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
Tucker Max
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Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.
Tucker Max
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The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.
Tucker Max
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Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.
Tucker Max
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And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.
Tucker Max
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I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
Tucker Max
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The haters always scream the loudest.
Tucker Max
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The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them
Tucker Max
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9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that.
Tucker Max
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I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.
Tucker Max
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Yinzer: DAMN!! I wish I had your balls! Tucker:I wish you had a breath mint, but I guess we don't always get what we wish for.
Tucker Max
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I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
Tucker Max
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Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
Tucker Max
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General reader feedback is usually pretty worthless. 99% of people give feedback that is irrelevant, stupid, or just flat out wrong. But that 1% of people who give good feedback are invaluable.
Tucker Max
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This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
Tucker Max
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Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.
Tucker Max
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My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.
Tucker Max
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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
Tucker Max