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We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Mcdonald
Kicked
Drunk
Eating
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I'm not some movie star relying on a studio. I have my own fans and I earned them.
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Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
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Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb.
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You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.
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TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.
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I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor
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You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.
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No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.
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Listen to authority figures because of their position, but only believe them if they can explain why.
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The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
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Yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but everyone forgets the second half of that quote: the road to heaven is paved with good actions.
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I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
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Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
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I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them.
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The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.
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Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
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I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.
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I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.
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Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.
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This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
Tucker Max