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We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Mcdonald
Kicked
Drunk
Eating
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More quotes by Tucker Max

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Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
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Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.
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Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
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A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, Why aren't you in your basketball uniform? I leave out way more than I put in.
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The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be.
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Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want
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You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.
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It [eBook] is like introducing the machine gun to a revolutionary war. It changes everything. If you can reach your fans directly without having to go through a middle man, the entire economics of the publishing business changes.
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Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect you get what you demand from people.
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Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful.
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There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.
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I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
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Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art.
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The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.
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The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.
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No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple.
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I never felt pressured to create more stories, but dealing with people became really aggravating.
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I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
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You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
Tucker Max