Quote

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Middle
Clawing
Speak
Cats
Death
Cat
Night
Wake
Ever
Window
Like
Outside
Couple
Listening

More quotes by Tucker Max

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Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
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Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.
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I'm not some movie star relying on a studio. I have my own fans and I earned them.
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I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.
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You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
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You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
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The result of my hard work is that I'm financially independent, I have an amazing life, and I can do whatever I want. I don't have to answer to anybody.
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I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.
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I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
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Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
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Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
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Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.
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I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)
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Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
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Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
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To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
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Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
Tucker Max
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I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester.
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I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
Tucker Max