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You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
Tucker Max
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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Middle
Clawing
Speak
Cats
Death
Cat
Night
Wake
Ever
Window
Like
Outside
Couple
Listening
More quotes by Tucker Max
I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.
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You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
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You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
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Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
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Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.
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In training, there is no winning or losing. There is only learning.
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At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.
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I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
Tucker Max
The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
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I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
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My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
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Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.
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If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
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Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.
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It [eBook] is like introducing the machine gun to a revolutionary war. It changes everything. If you can reach your fans directly without having to go through a middle man, the entire economics of the publishing business changes.
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No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.
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Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.
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Failure instructs, failure improves. Failure shouldn't deter you.
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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max