Quote

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Couple
Listening
Middle
Clawing
Speak
Cats
Death
Cat
Night
Wake
Ever
Window
Like
Outside

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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
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I hated being a lawyer and I wanted to like myself and like my job.
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It [eBook] is like introducing the machine gun to a revolutionary war. It changes everything. If you can reach your fans directly without having to go through a middle man, the entire economics of the publishing business changes.
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I'm not even the coolest one of my friends. I'm just the guy who sat down and wrote everything down. Like I know plenty of people who do crazier stuff than I do.
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Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
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I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
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I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.
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Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.
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Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
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Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
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I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me.
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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
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Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.
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Yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but everyone forgets the second half of that quote: the road to heaven is paved with good actions.
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As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it's because they're afraid of rejection or they're afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.
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Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
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Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
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Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
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You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
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