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You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
Tucker Max
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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Ever
Window
Like
Outside
Couple
Listening
Middle
Clawing
Speak
Cats
Death
Cat
Night
Wake
More quotes by Tucker Max
In training, there is no winning or losing. There is only learning.
Tucker Max
Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max
Opinions are projections.
Tucker Max
Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.
Tucker Max
Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.
Tucker Max
I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.
Tucker Max
Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.
Tucker Max
I never felt pressured to create more stories, but dealing with people became really aggravating.
Tucker Max
To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
Tucker Max
Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
Tucker Max
Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.
Tucker Max
Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
Tucker Max
Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
Tucker Max
Failure instructs, failure improves. Failure shouldn't deter you.
Tucker Max
I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.
Tucker Max
I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)
Tucker Max
The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
Tucker Max
You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
Tucker Max
My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.
Tucker Max
I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.
Tucker Max
