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I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
People
Club
Professional
Clubs
Mascot
Sorry
Mascots
Members
Elite
Stand
Elites
Team
Fought
Decision
Member

More quotes by Tucker Max

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If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
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I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.
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You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
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Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.
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In training, there is no winning or losing. There is only learning.
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I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
Tucker Max
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I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester.
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
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I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.
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Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
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I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.
Tucker Max
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The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
Tucker Max
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You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
Tucker Max
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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max
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The result of my hard work is that I'm financially independent, I have an amazing life, and I can do whatever I want. I don't have to answer to anybody.
Tucker Max
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Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
Tucker Max
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The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
Tucker Max
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I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
Tucker Max
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Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.
Tucker Max
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If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.
Tucker Max