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Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
Tucker Max
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Tucker Max
Age: 48
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Wife
Midget
Guy
Heading
Home
Headings
Going
Vacation
Men
Hundreds
Confused
Midgets
Silent
Tucker
Guys
Milwaukee
More quotes by Tucker Max
Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.
Tucker Max
Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.
Tucker Max
Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want
Tucker Max
I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
Tucker Max
Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.
Tucker Max
As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it's because they're afraid of rejection or they're afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.
Tucker Max
The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
Tucker Max
One big lesson I learned from movie [making] was I don't do creative projects that I headline unless I have all the control. I can't deal with having to live with other people's screw ups, and that's just sort of the way the movie business works. The people with the money are in charge. Until I'm in charge, I don't want to play that game.
Tucker Max
Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
Tucker Max
Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood)
Tucker Max
TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.
Tucker Max
I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
Tucker Max
I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
Tucker Max
Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
Tucker Max
At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.
Tucker Max
To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
Tucker Max
I'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester.
Tucker Max
Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.
Tucker Max
I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
Tucker Max
You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
Tucker Max