Quote

Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Men
Hundreds
Confused
Midgets
Silent
Tucker
Guys
Milwaukee
Wife
Midget
Guy
Heading
Home
Headings
Going
Vacation

More quotes by Tucker Max

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I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
Tucker Max
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I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
Tucker Max
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TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.
Tucker Max
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Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.
Tucker Max
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I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.
Tucker Max
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I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them.
Tucker Max
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Random Girl after a hookup: Do you love me Tucker: I don't understand the question.
Tucker Max
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Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.
Tucker Max
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That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.
Tucker Max
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I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
Tucker Max
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Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art.
Tucker Max
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Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful.
Tucker Max
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The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.
Tucker Max
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I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
Tucker Max
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If you just don't have any idea what you want to do, the worst thing you can do is go to law school. If you can go to college, maybe it's fine to have four years of fun and learn a little bit, that's okay, but if you have to go two hundred thousand dollars in debt, that's not something I would recommend.
Tucker Max
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Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future.
Tucker Max
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If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma.
Tucker Max
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A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, Why aren't you in your basketball uniform? I leave out way more than I put in.
Tucker Max
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Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.
Tucker Max
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I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there.
Tucker Max