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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max
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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Men
Foreheads
Whales
Pilot
Pilots
Hey
Huge
Talk
Dolphins
Speak
Forehead
More quotes by Tucker Max
To get hwat you want out of life, all you really need to do is be honest about it, don't be afraid to go for it, and have fun while you do it -- and you'll eventually get it.
Tucker Max
I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.
Tucker Max
Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
Tucker Max
And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.
Tucker Max
I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
Tucker Max
One big lesson I learned from movie [making] was I don't do creative projects that I headline unless I have all the control. I can't deal with having to live with other people's screw ups, and that's just sort of the way the movie business works. The people with the money are in charge. Until I'm in charge, I don't want to play that game.
Tucker Max
If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
Tucker Max
The result of my hard work is that I'm financially independent, I have an amazing life, and I can do whatever I want. I don't have to answer to anybody.
Tucker Max
I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.
Tucker Max
Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.
Tucker Max
Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
Tucker Max
I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
Tucker Max
I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
Tucker Max
I'm not some movie star relying on a studio. I have my own fans and I earned them.
Tucker Max
If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.
Tucker Max
Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
Tucker Max
My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.
Tucker Max
Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
Tucker Max
Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.
Tucker Max
If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
Tucker Max