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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max
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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Men
Foreheads
Whales
Pilot
Pilots
Hey
Huge
Talk
Dolphins
Speak
Forehead
More quotes by Tucker Max
And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.
Tucker Max
I'm not even the coolest one of my friends. I'm just the guy who sat down and wrote everything down. Like I know plenty of people who do crazier stuff than I do.
Tucker Max
Opinions are projections.
Tucker Max
The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
Tucker Max
I'm not some movie star relying on a studio. I have my own fans and I earned them.
Tucker Max
The result of my hard work is that I'm financially independent, I have an amazing life, and I can do whatever I want. I don't have to answer to anybody.
Tucker Max
This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
Tucker Max
The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
Tucker Max
I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.
Tucker Max
The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be.
Tucker Max
I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there.
Tucker Max
I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
Tucker Max
Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
Tucker Max
To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
Tucker Max
I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
Tucker Max
Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful.
Tucker Max
No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple.
Tucker Max
If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
Tucker Max
I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.
Tucker Max
I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
Tucker Max
