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That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Happen
Beauty
Didn
Happens
Remember
Alcohol

More quotes by Tucker Max

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The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
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I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.
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Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
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Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.
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No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple.
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Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb.
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I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.
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The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
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If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.
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I hated being a lawyer and I wanted to like myself and like my job.
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
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I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there.
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I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
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Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art.
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Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect you get what you demand from people.
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If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma.
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Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.
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I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.
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I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.
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Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
Tucker Max