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That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Alcohol
Happen
Beauty
Didn
Happens
Remember

More quotes by Tucker Max

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Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.
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No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.
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Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.
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Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.
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It [eBook] is like introducing the machine gun to a revolutionary war. It changes everything. If you can reach your fans directly without having to go through a middle man, the entire economics of the publishing business changes.
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Fat girls aren’t real people.
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You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
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I masterbate in the shower. My action figures judge me. Especially the Justice League.
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I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
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The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
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I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
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The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above functionally retarded.
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My buddies and I, we all went to law school together, and once we started working in different cities, we all did crazy stuff, and we'd write e-mails to each other about the stuff we would do. And my friends thought my e-mails were really funny and they said, Dude, why don't you put this up on a Web site. You know people would love to read this.
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Yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but everyone forgets the second half of that quote: the road to heaven is paved with good actions.
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It used to be that companies with industrial economies of scale created business success. Now, success will come from the information economies of scale, either the ones with complete breadth, or complete depth.
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Critics stopped being relevant when they stopped writing to inform and contextualize, and when they started writing to signal who they are, to display their identity by their stance on what they are writing about. Criticism should never be about the critic, but thats what it has become, and that’s why no one cares about them anymore.
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
Tucker Max
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We can't get kicked out of McDonald's! This is like the DMZ of drunk eating.
Tucker Max
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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
Tucker Max
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In training, there is no winning or losing. There is only learning.
Tucker Max