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That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Remember
Alcohol
Happen
Beauty
Didn
Happens

More quotes by Tucker Max

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Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.
Tucker Max
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I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.
Tucker Max
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Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.
Tucker Max
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The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above functionally retarded.
Tucker Max
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I was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.
Tucker Max
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Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.
Tucker Max
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A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, Why aren't you in your basketball uniform? I leave out way more than I put in.
Tucker Max
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Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.
Tucker Max
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I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.
Tucker Max
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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max
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You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
Tucker Max
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This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
Tucker Max
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You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
Tucker Max
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Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.
Tucker Max
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Fat girls aren’t real people.
Tucker Max
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I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
Tucker Max
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To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
Tucker Max
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And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.
Tucker Max
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It [eBook] is like introducing the machine gun to a revolutionary war. It changes everything. If you can reach your fans directly without having to go through a middle man, the entire economics of the publishing business changes.
Tucker Max
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Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
Tucker Max