Quote

I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Girl
Two
Combining
Women
Invented
Anything
Alcohol
Better
Hot
Love
Drunk
Kept
Sex

More quotes by Tucker Max

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You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
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Failure instructs, failure improves. Failure shouldn't deter you.
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Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.
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If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.
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I masterbate in the shower. My action figures judge me. Especially the Justice League.
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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
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My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?
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Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.
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The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.
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Listen to authority figures because of their position, but only believe them if they can explain why.
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It [eBook] is like introducing the machine gun to a revolutionary war. It changes everything. If you can reach your fans directly without having to go through a middle man, the entire economics of the publishing business changes.
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I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.
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You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.
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The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
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I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.
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Yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but everyone forgets the second half of that quote: the road to heaven is paved with good actions.
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This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
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Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.
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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
Tucker Max