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You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Emotional
Leprechaun
Issues
Jockeys
Show
Ridden
Funny
Unicorn
Girl
Introduce
Doesn
Introducing
Shows
Stable
Truly
Thoroughbreds

More quotes by Tucker Max

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Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful.
Tucker Max
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The idea that guys should walk into a bar and confidently initiate contact and then seduce a woman based on a short term conversation is a toxic cultural myth that robs guys of self-confidence and that holds them up to an unrealistic standard that they have to become a super-extraverted narcissist in order to 'score with women'
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Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
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I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.
Tucker Max
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Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art.
Tucker Max
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The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.
Tucker Max
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I hated being a lawyer and I wanted to like myself and like my job.
Tucker Max
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And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.
Tucker Max
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I'm sorry, but I stand by my decision. I am now a member of the elite club of people that have fought a professional team mascot. You sir, are not in that club.
Tucker Max
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My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.
Tucker Max
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Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.
Tucker Max
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
Tucker Max
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It used to be that companies with industrial economies of scale created business success. Now, success will come from the information economies of scale, either the ones with complete breadth, or complete depth.
Tucker Max
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Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.
Tucker Max
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I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor
Tucker Max
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Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, Whoa, this is amazing! At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
Tucker Max
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I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.
Tucker Max
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Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.
Tucker Max
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You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
Tucker Max
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The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.
Tucker Max