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I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
Tucker Max
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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Taste
Decision
Perfect
Lull
Take
Lulls
Like
Potency
Choke
Tastes
Decisions
More quotes by Tucker Max
You know that look a cop gives you when he's so confused that he doesn't even know how to respond? If you don't know that look, it means you haven't had enough fun in your life.
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Yinzer: DAMN!! I wish I had your balls! Tucker:I wish you had a breath mint, but I guess we don't always get what we wish for.
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You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.
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If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.
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The result of my hard work is that I'm financially independent, I have an amazing life, and I can do whatever I want. I don't have to answer to anybody.
Tucker Max
You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.
Tucker Max
You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
Tucker Max
Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.
Tucker Max
Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want
Tucker Max
I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.
Tucker Max
Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.
Tucker Max
There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.
Tucker Max
I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.
Tucker Max
Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful.
Tucker Max
This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
Tucker Max
And I’ve found that, what I now want the most in a woman is—I want a partner. I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other.
Tucker Max
If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
Tucker Max
Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max
The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.
Tucker Max
My buddies and I, we all went to law school together, and once we started working in different cities, we all did crazy stuff, and we'd write e-mails to each other about the stuff we would do. And my friends thought my e-mails were really funny and they said, Dude, why don't you put this up on a Web site. You know people would love to read this.
Tucker Max
