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My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Asks
Email
Guy
Christmas
Year
Favorite
Hope
Six
Night
Wrote
Years
Asking
Max
Really
Exist
Santa
Question
Random

More quotes by Tucker Max

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No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.
Tucker Max
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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
Tucker Max
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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max
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I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
Tucker Max
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
Tucker Max
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Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.
Tucker Max
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It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.
Tucker Max
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Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future.
Tucker Max
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Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
Tucker Max
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If you just don't have any idea what you want to do, the worst thing you can do is go to law school. If you can go to college, maybe it's fine to have four years of fun and learn a little bit, that's okay, but if you have to go two hundred thousand dollars in debt, that's not something I would recommend.
Tucker Max
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I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)
Tucker Max
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Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.
Tucker Max
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I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me.
Tucker Max
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I've never really had a media edifice supporting me.
Tucker Max
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The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above functionally retarded.
Tucker Max
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Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.
Tucker Max
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You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.
Tucker Max
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Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.
Tucker Max
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Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.
Tucker Max
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TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.
Tucker Max