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Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Called
Brain
Girl
Leaked
Tell
Minded
Two
Brains
Closed
Girls
Open

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To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
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Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
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You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
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If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
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TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.
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Hi. I haven't insulted you yet, have I?
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Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
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I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.
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Before I was famous, I already was the person that attracted and dealt with a lot of weirdos.
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The thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
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One big lesson I learned from movie [making] was I don't do creative projects that I headline unless I have all the control. I can't deal with having to live with other people's screw ups, and that's just sort of the way the movie business works. The people with the money are in charge. Until I'm in charge, I don't want to play that game.
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Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.
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Tucker: You guys going to Milwaukee? Guy: Yes sir, heading home after a vacation. Tucker: Did you know there are midgets in Milwaukee? [The man and his wife are silent and confused.] Tucker: HUNDREDS OF THEM!
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Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
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I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
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At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.
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I'm not some movie star relying on a studio. I have my own fans and I earned them.
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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
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I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.
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The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
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