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Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Called
Brain
Girl
Leaked
Tell
Minded
Two
Brains
Closed
Girls
Open

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Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.
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Getting offended is a great way to avoid answering questions that make you sound dumb.
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Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.
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It [eBook] is like introducing the machine gun to a revolutionary war. It changes everything. If you can reach your fans directly without having to go through a middle man, the entire economics of the publishing business changes.
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I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
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9:00: I don't know what I want. I just point at the Dollar Menu and say, 'Give me all of that.
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I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)
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I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
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One big lesson I learned from movie [making] was I don't do creative projects that I headline unless I have all the control. I can't deal with having to live with other people's screw ups, and that's just sort of the way the movie business works. The people with the money are in charge. Until I'm in charge, I don't want to play that game.
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I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
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My path to wisdom began when I stopped pretending to know things I didn't know. When I explicitly admitted to the limits of my knowledge, stopped building on ambiguity and ignorance, and instead realized that I knew nothing, not even the things I thought I knew.
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Fat girls aren’t real people.
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The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
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My buddies and I, we all went to law school together, and once we started working in different cities, we all did crazy stuff, and we'd write e-mails to each other about the stuff we would do. And my friends thought my e-mails were really funny and they said, Dude, why don't you put this up on a Web site. You know people would love to read this.
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I'm never going to be Tolstoy.
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It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.
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The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.
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I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
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This may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I don’t suffer fools well.
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I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.
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