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Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Called
Brain
Girl
Leaked
Tell
Minded
Two
Brains
Closed
Girls
Open

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Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.
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Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
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I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.
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The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above functionally retarded.
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I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
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The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
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I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
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Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.
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Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.
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I could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?
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As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it's because they're afraid of rejection or they're afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.
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A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, Why aren't you in your basketball uniform? I leave out way more than I put in.
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It [eBook] is like introducing the machine gun to a revolutionary war. It changes everything. If you can reach your fans directly without having to go through a middle man, the entire economics of the publishing business changes.
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You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
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We had become those guys... who started a fight... at a Harry Potter book party.
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Opinions are projections.
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I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor
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You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
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If you just don't have any idea what you want to do, the worst thing you can do is go to law school. If you can go to college, maybe it's fine to have four years of fun and learn a little bit, that's okay, but if you have to go two hundred thousand dollars in debt, that's not something I would recommend.
Tucker Max