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The haters always scream the loudest.

Tucker Max

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Tucker Max
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 27
Author
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Atlanta
Georgia
Loudest
Hater
Haters
Scream
Funny
Always

More quotes by Tucker Max

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Due to the potent combination of my sexual recklessness and the slutty nature of some of the girls I have slept with, I have accumulated enough stories and anecdotes about abortion that they could name a Planned Parenthood clinic after me.
Tucker Max
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Failure instructs, failure improves. Failure shouldn't deter you.
Tucker Max
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As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it's because they're afraid of rejection or they're afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.
Tucker Max
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I could never kill myself. What if it doesn't work. Then I'll have failed at the only thing that could save me from my failures. Where do you go from there?
Tucker Max
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I've never really had a media edifice supporting me.
Tucker Max
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No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.
Tucker Max
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If you read the book, you're not a journalist. You're some impostor! No journalist actually does any work.
Tucker Max
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A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, Why aren't you in your basketball uniform? I leave out way more than I put in.
Tucker Max
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My path to wisdom began when I stopped pretending to know things I didn't know. When I explicitly admitted to the limits of my knowledge, stopped building on ambiguity and ignorance, and instead realized that I knew nothing, not even the things I thought I knew.
Tucker Max
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I masterbate in the shower. My action figures judge me. Especially the Justice League.
Tucker Max
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Fat girls aren’t real people.
Tucker Max
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I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor
Tucker Max
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You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.
Tucker Max
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I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
Tucker Max
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If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.
Tucker Max
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The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above functionally retarded.
Tucker Max
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Hey man, can you talk to dolphins and pilot whales with that huge forehead of yours?
Tucker Max
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Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.
Tucker Max
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Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood)
Tucker Max
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That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.
Tucker Max