Quote

A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says What are you supposed to be? The man says A premature ejaculation. What? says the woman. The man explains I've just come in my pants.

Tommy Cooper

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Tommy Cooper
Age: 63 †
Born: 1921
Born: March 19
Died: 1984
Died: April 15
Actor
Comedian
Magician
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Caerffili
Thomas Frederick Cooper
Funny
Dress
Woman
Dresses
Comes
Supposed
Ejaculation
Come
Fronts
Explains
Men
Humor
Premature
Goes
Dressed
Says
Pants
Party
Fancy

More quotes by Tommy Cooper

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
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So I said to this train driver I want to go to Paris. He said Eurostar?. I said I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
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A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.
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I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost 3 days already.
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Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
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A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
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I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure
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And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'
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A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road.
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I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
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A friend of mine drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
Tommy Cooper
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Tommy Cooper
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A man walks into doctor's office. What seems to be the problem? asks the doc. It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises. replies the man. Blimey! says the doctor, How do your trousers fit? Like a glove.
Tommy Cooper
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My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.
Tommy Cooper
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
Tommy Cooper
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Man went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in my drink', man replied, 'There's no arm in it'
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
Tommy Cooper
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Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'
Tommy Cooper
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says Your eyes sparkle like diamonds. I said Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck.
Tommy Cooper