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And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.
Tommy Cooper
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Tommy Cooper
Age: 63 †
Born: 1921
Born: March 19
Died: 1984
Died: April 15
Actor
Comedian
Magician
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Caerffili
Thomas Frederick Cooper
Humor
Funny
Spittle
Dived
Saliva
Airplane
Sea
More quotes by Tommy Cooper
And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'
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I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
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Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
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So I said to this train driver I want to go to Paris. He said Eurostar?. I said I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
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A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.
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Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
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I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.
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He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, That's a turn-up for the books.
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I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
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Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
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So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.
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My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.
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A friend of mine drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
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