Quote

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says Your eyes sparkle like diamonds. I said Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck.

Tommy Cooper

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Tommy Cooper
Age: 63 †
Born: 1921
Born: March 19
Died: 1984
Died: April 15
Actor
Comedian
Magician
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Caerffili
Thomas Frederick Cooper
Eye
Red
Waiter
Funny
Rose
Diamonds
Like
Asked
Duck
Humor
Ducks
Says
Restaurant
Went
Diamond
Came
Restaurants
Eyes
Chinese
Sparkle

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A man walks into doctor's office. What seems to be the problem? asks the doc. It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises. replies the man. Blimey! says the doctor, How do your trousers fit? Like a glove.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
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So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
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I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.
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