Quote

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure

Tommy Cooper

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Tommy Cooper
Age: 63 †
Born: 1921
Born: March 19
Died: 1984
Died: April 15
Actor
Comedian
Magician
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Caerffili
Thomas Frederick Cooper
Sure
Funny
Used
Indecisive
Indecision
Humor
Quite

More quotes by Tommy Cooper

Image
A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'
Tommy Cooper
Image
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Tommy Cooper
Image
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
Tommy Cooper
Image
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
Tommy Cooper
Image
I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
Tommy Cooper
Image
A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
Tommy Cooper
Image
I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost 3 days already.
Tommy Cooper
Image
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
Tommy Cooper
Image
A friend of mine drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
Tommy Cooper
Image
A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says What are you supposed to be? The man says A premature ejaculation. What? says the woman. The man explains I've just come in my pants.
Tommy Cooper
Image
I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said My dog's died.
Tommy Cooper
Image
I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
Tommy Cooper
Image
And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'
Tommy Cooper
Image
Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
Image
Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'
Tommy Cooper
Image
My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.
Tommy Cooper
Image
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
Tommy Cooper
Image
Man went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in my drink', man replied, 'There's no arm in it'
Tommy Cooper
Image
Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
Tommy Cooper
Image
So I said to this train driver I want to go to Paris. He said Eurostar?. I said I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
Tommy Cooper