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I was always laughing in church.

Tom Waits

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Tom Waits
Age: 74
Born: 1949
Born: December 7
Actor
Composer
Guitarist
Jazz Guitarist
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Writer
Pomona
California
Thomas Alan Waits
Church
Always
Laughing

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Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.
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There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby.
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Well it's hotter 'n blazes and all the long faces / there'll be no oasis for a dry local grazier
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There's only one reason why you write new songs: You get sick of the old songs. It's not that I didn't do anything during the time when I wrote no songs. I was creative, but in another way. I had ideas for songs and collected the ideas.
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There's a place down the street Seven Xs. What does that mean? Maybe it's... girls without skin.
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Planes and Trains and Boats and Busses Characteristically Evolve a common attitude of blue Unless you have a suitcase and a ticket and a passport And the cargo that they're carrying is you.
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I was born in the back seat of a Yellow Cab in a hospital loading zone and with the meter still running. I emerged needing a shave and shouted 'Time Square, and step on it!'
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...and I'm standing on the corner of Fifth and Vermouth.
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Folks who work here are professors. Don't replace all the knowers with guessors keep'em open they're the ears of the town
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Most songs that aren't jump-rope songs, or lullabies, are cautionary tales or goodbye songs and road songs.
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You hope people are going to be listening to you after you're gone. And they like you better after you're gone.
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All the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes
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When you're a kid and you're trying to find your own voice, it's rather daunting to hear somebody like Howlin' Wolf, because you know that you'll never achieve that.
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I don't know if any genuine meaningful change could ever result from a song. It's kind of like throwing peanuts at a gorilla.
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Jesus Christ, this godamn rain, will someone put me on a train.
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There's a beauty of show business. It's the only business you can have a career in when you're dead.
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Well, they'll bark you down like carneys, sell you Christmas cards in June.
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George Burns was a Vaudeville performer I particularly loved.
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The dog won't bite if you beat Him with a bone
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I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.
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