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I’ve never met anyone who made it with a chick because they owned a Tom Waits album. I’ve got all three, and it’s never helped me.

Tom Waits

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Tom Waits
Age: 74
Born: 1949
Born: December 7
Actor
Composer
Guitarist
Jazz Guitarist
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Writer
Pomona
California
Thomas Alan Waits
Mets
Chick
Waiting
Waits
Anyone
Chicks
Three
Owned
Made
Toms
Never
Album
Helped
Albums

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I saw a crow building a nest, I was watching him very carefully, I was kind of stalking him and he was aware of it. And you know what they do when they become aware of someone stalking them when they build a nest, which is a very vulnerable place to be? They build a decoy nest. It's just for you.
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I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.
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She's a shiksa goddess and a trapeze artist, all of that. She can fix the truck...she's outta this world...she's bold, inventive and fearless. That's who you wanna go in the woods with, right? Somebody who finishes your sentences for you.
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That for me is more important than anything when you're in the studio - to have somebody you can trust and who knows you, knows who you are and doesn't let you get away with anything.
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Now its raining its pouring the old man is snoring now I lay me down to sleep I hear the sirens in the street all my dreams are made of chrome I have no way to get back home I’d rather die before I wake like Marilyn Monroe and throw my dreams out in the street and the rain make ‘em grow
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It's hard to win when you always lose.
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The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!
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but it's so hard to dance that way when it's cold and there's no music.
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I'm always looking for sounds that are pleasing at the time. The sound of a helicopter is really annoying until you're drowning, and it's there to rescue you. Then it sounds like music.
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Jesus Christ, this godamn rain, will someone put me on a train.
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All that you've loved is all you own
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If there's one thing you can say about mankind, there's nothing kind about man.
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I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.
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Well, they'll bark you down like carneys, sell you Christmas cards in June.
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The dog won't bite if you beat Him with a bone
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I always had a great appreciation for jazz, but I'm a very pedestrian musician. I get by. I like to think that my main instrument is vocabulary.
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I know a girl, she been married so many times, she got rice marks all over her face
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I walked 500 miles just to see a halo, when I opened my eyes I was blind as can be.
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I like Thelonious Monk, he's so gnarled, he's like a piece of machinery that's pulled up the bolts on the floor and gone off on its own.
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If people are a little nervous about approaching you at the market, it's good. I'm not Chuckles The Clown. Or Bozo. I don't cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don't stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you'll never see it again.
Tom Waits