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A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.

Tom Waits

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Tom Waits
Age: 74
Born: 1949
Born: December 7
Actor
Composer
Guitarist
Jazz Guitarist
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Writer
Pomona
California
Thomas Alan Waits
Mental
Midget
Fence
Sarcastic
Post
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More quotes by Tom Waits

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Anton brings the camera. I'll bring a tuba, wear black, not shave, and take us to a burned-down Chinese restaurant. (On being photographed by his longtime photo collaborator Anton Corbijn)
Tom Waits
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Children make up the best songs, anyway. Better than grown-ups. Kids are always working on songs and throwing them away, like little origami things or paper airplanes. They don't care if they lose it they'll just make another one.
Tom Waits
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Never have your wallet with you onstage. It's bad luck. You shouldn't play the piano with money in your pocket. Play like you need the money.
Tom Waits
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I like Thelonious Monk, he's so gnarled, he's like a piece of machinery that's pulled up the bolts on the floor and gone off on its own.
Tom Waits
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The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.
Tom Waits
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The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering.
Tom Waits
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I just don't like the word 'fun'--it's like Volkswagen, or bell-bottoms, or patchouli-oil or bean-sprouts...it rubs me up the wrong way.
Tom Waits
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The dog won't bite if you beat Him with a bone
Tom Waits
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Come down off the cross, we could use the wood.
Tom Waits
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Leona Helmsley's dog made $12 million last year... and Dean McLaine, a farmer in Ohio, made $30,000. It's just a gigantic version of the madness that grows in every one of our brains.
Tom Waits
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Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing.
Tom Waits
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I think some bands thrive on the idea of changing instruments. When they're off their real instrument, the ability to go very far from the original idea is reduced.
Tom Waits
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I'll take a rusty nail and scratch your initials on my arm.
Tom Waits
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Did the devil make the world while God was sleeping?
Tom Waits
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In terms of black music - the only music that we can call our own, that was really born here - I don't think a lot has been done to chronicle the relations between American history and where black music fits in.
Tom Waits
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I don't go to church on Sunday, don't get on my knees to pray, or memorize the books of the Bible, I got my own special way
Tom Waits
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I always liked the idea that America is a big facade. We are all insects crawling across on the shiny hood of a Cadillac. We're all looking at the wrapping. But we won't tear the wrapping to see what lies beneath.
Tom Waits
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Oh, I'm not a percussionist, I just like to hit things.
Tom Waits
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It's terrible for the culture of music. Like anything that is purely economic, it ignores the most important component.
Tom Waits
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Most songs have meager beginnings. You wake up in the morning, you throw on your suspenders, and you subvocalize and just think. They seem to form like calcium. I can't think of a story right off the bat that was that interesting. I write things on the back of my hand, usually, and sing into a tape recorder.
Tom Waits