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You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.

Tom Waits

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Tom Waits
Age: 75
Born: 1949
Born: December 7
Actor
Composer
Guitarist
Jazz Guitarist
Pianist
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Writer
Pomona
California
Thomas Alan Waits
Smashed
Party
Getting
Woman
Learn

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Did the devil make the world while God was sleeping?
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I made a wish on a sliver of moonlight A sly grin and a bowl full of stars
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I’ve never met anyone who made it with a chick because they owned a Tom Waits album. I’ve got all three, and it’s never helped me.
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Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.
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I was always laughing in church.
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There's truths there that spiral out of what appears to be just a word game. That's what I find mystifying about the meanings of things: they kind of unscrew themselves from the practical words.
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using parking meters as walking sticks.
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If people are a little nervous about approaching you at the market, it's good. I'm not Chuckles The Clown. Or Bozo. I don't cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don't stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you'll never see it again.
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I may be drunk but at least I'm not insane.
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A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.
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There's a lot of intelligence in the hands.When you pick up a shovel, the hands know what to do. The same thing's true of sitting at the piano.
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There's a beauty of show business. It's the only business you can have a career in when you're dead.
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...and I'm standing on the corner of Fifth and Vermouth.
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If you're a writer you know that the stories don't come to you, you have to go looking for them. The old men in the lobby: that's where the stories were.
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I like Thelonious Monk, he's so gnarled, he's like a piece of machinery that's pulled up the bolts on the floor and gone off on its own.
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You just write and you don't try to make sense of it. You just put it down the way you got it.
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It's new, it's improved, it's old fashioned.
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I just don't like the word 'fun'--it's like Volkswagen, or bell-bottoms, or patchouli-oil or bean-sprouts...it rubs me up the wrong way.
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I'm so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.
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Planes and Trains and Boats and Busses Characteristically Evolve a common attitude of blue Unless you have a suitcase and a ticket and a passport And the cargo that they're carrying is you.
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